Taking a gap year in my thirties - the year after…

I came back to New Zealand a year ago today - it was a Saturday afternoon on a typical overcast day in Auckland. After spending almost a day on a plane, I was glad to be on my feet again, even if it was to wait in line at customs. The customs guy was impressed by how clean my hiking boots were and even questioned if I had even used them. I assured him that I had actually hiked several mountains with them. After fifteen minutes, I was once again officially back on New Zealand soil.

Sharing my story at Inspiring Women NZ 2020

Our lives essentially revolve around relationships - with people we care about, at work, fleeting moments with strangers, and yes, even with the style-guru at your favourite local store. I learned that the more I worked on my relationship with myself, the better I treat those relationships that actually matter to me. For the first time in my adult life, I can finally talk to my Mum with a level of honesty that gives me hope that some of the walls I’ve built over the last four years are slowly coming down.

Just Because You Can Do It All, Doesn't Mean You Should

I got sick recently, like really sick. Sick enough to end up in hospital, because it turned out that the three-day pain in my abdomen was my appendix, daring to break up with me. How can something so small cause you a whole lot of pain? Like, stepping on Lego. Or a damn prickle.

Thank goodness for free healthcare in New Zealand, aye. It’s been almost three weeks since my operation and I’m relatively pain free. There’s no longer a gingerness in each step - on the outside you can’t tell I even had an operation. But I’m not firing on all engines yet. Tiredness creeps up on me around 3pm, insisting I take a late afternoon siesta before dinner.

Feel The Fear, And Do It Anyway

Four years ago, a week after I separated from my ex-husband, I sat down and had a cuppa with my friend Steph. It was one of the last times I sat on the couch in my old house, and before she left, she gave me a big bear hug. The kind of hug that holds you until they’re sure you’re ready to let go.

I’ve spent the last four years in a constant state of transition. Healing. Learning. Growing. Actually, a hell of a lot of growing. So much so that I feel like my brain needs a de-frag to make sense of how much I’ve changed.

It Is Not The Mountain That We Conquer, But Ourselves

He was exhausted, actually, we all were. It was coming up to sunrise but from memory we still had another hour until we reached the summit. So, he sat down, and then one by one we all did too. Light hadn't even touched the valley yet, but we had already been hiking for about five hours. The world had barely woken up when we reached the summit.

I still remember taking Neel's photo like it was yesterday. He didn't really sit, more like plonked himself down. His face was worn with exhaustion when he faced me and smiled. Then he turned his head towards the sunrise. He didn't really want to give up, he just wanted to watch the sunrise.

Happiness Is A Place Between Too Much And Too Little

I watched the fingers uncurl on my left hand as I counted how many months I’ve been back in New Zealand. Five, I’ve been back five months. Each time I click on my Facebook memories, there’s a photo or a post that reminds me of a year of travel, adventures, friendships...and of course, life. A year of embracing adventure that not only filled my hard drive with gigabytes worth of memories, but also taught me that seeking adventure is as much about our relationship with ourselves as it is to embrace what happens to us externally.