It Is Not The Mountain That We Conquer, But Ourselves
Neel admiring the sunrise as we hiked up to the summit on Chachani.
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He was exhausted, actually, we all were. It was coming up to sunrise but from memory we still had another hour until we reached the summit. So, he sat down, and then one by one we all did too. Light hadn't even touched the valley yet, but we had already been hiking for about five hours. The world had barely woken up when we reached the summit that morning.
I still remember taking Neel's photo like it was yesterday. He didn't really sit, more like plonked himself down. His face was worn with exhaustion when he faced me and smiled. Then he turned his head towards the sunrise. He didn't really want to give up, he just wanted to enjoy the sunrise.
Neel was 27 when I met him as part of the Chachani group. He was travelling and in search of his 'India', you know, like in Eat, Pray, Love. Most people who end up in Perú are usually searching for a part of themselves. He had more beard than hair on his head, and had the most incredible smile. I didn't stay in touch with him, but I hope he found his India.
This was sometime around May 2019, how that feels so long ago now. Maybe it’s because 2020 feels like it’s been going forever - it’s almost winter here in New Zealand and yet it seems like life’s just come to a stand still. It hasn’t though really, but you know what I mean.
Working from home over the past month hasn’t been too bad - there are days that are better than others, but it is what it is so I’ve made the most of it. I’m forever grateful that I still have a job. It took awhile to sink in. There was a day when I was sitting outside for morning tea and I heard a feijoa fall from the tree (the tree was actually our neighbour’s and was at the far corner of the backyard). I can’t remember the world being that quiet before.
Except maybe in the mountains.
Climbing Nevado Chachani
It was midnight, we were at base camp at Chachani. Getting more than a few hours sleep at 5,000 m.a.s.l. is rare, and our group was expected to get up in an hour. I debated if I could hold off going to the toilet until then, but my bladder disagreed. So, I fumbled for a good ten minutes trying to put on my contacts, losing them, and then by some miracle finding them again. I put on my icy boots and walked out the tent.
What greeted me was nothing I had experienced before - the Milky Way freckled sky glowed and everything around me was still, yet so alive. I looked around and listened for Pedro the Coyote, whom we had fed earlier, but he was nowhere to be seen. I only heard the sound of my own breathing. I closed my eyes, and after a while, I heard the Earth breathing too. Everything was still, yet so alive.
That’s how I felt when I heard that feijoa drop. At that moment, I was truly present and aware of everything around me.
Admiring the view on the way up to the summit on Chachani.
“It is not the mountain that we conquer, but ourselves.”
I’ve been blessed with great adventures in the mountains, and I guess right now this lockdown is my own metaphorical mountain. In the mountains, there are plenty of things you can’t control - the weather, the conditions, people in your group. Even the way your body reacts to the altitude is uncertain, you can work on your fitness and hope that you’ve acclimatised enough to adjust to the thinner air. Even though the future may be full of uncertainty, in the present, I at least have found peace.
The world around us is changing, there’s a greater awareness in the stillness. I hope it stays, even if the quiet doesn’t. Until I can climb actual mountains again, I’m going to embrace this newfound stillness in my mind.
I no longer wish for normal, I wish for better.
xo Ronna Grace
fivefootronna is Ronna Grace Funtelar - a thirtyish adventurer, graphic designer and writer. A woman with a curious mind who lives for hiking mountains, outdoor adventures
and eating pizza. She has a unique brand of optimism that is a combination of her great enthusiasm for life and cups of coffee during the day.