I went speed dating once…actually, twice now.

I went speed dating once...actually, I’ve been twice now. Both in Whakatāne in fact. Seems like this adventurous spirit tends to find its away in other parts of my life these days. Now, speed dating in a small town is not as awkward as you may think, but one thing’s for sure: You will see someone you know, like a friend’s ex-husband or a student’s dad. “You look really familiar, how do I know you?” Three minutes of chit-chat later and turns out he was my neighbour from down the road. How convenient. Unfortunately, he was also my parents’ age.

If you have no clue what I’m talking about, speed dating is pretty simple. It’s a meet and greet event for singles - they try to have equal numbers of men and women in set age groups. I was in the 31-40 bunch. Yay for me. Each ‘date’ lasts between 3-5 minutes, you do your best to ask them slightly more meaningful questions beyond their favourite fruit, and if you’re lucky, maybe spark a connection. When time’s up you decide if you want to see them again or do like Beyonce…you know, to the left, to the left.

Before I dive right into you

I had brunch with a guy on Sunday, and what was meant to be just a breakfast sandwich turned into a four conversation. And pizza. Oh and juice - who knew mango and basil is a great combination, right? Really refreshing.

He sat at a table in the shade, there was no one else at the cafe so he was easy to spot. His dimples were unmistakable too, I liked it when he smiled. It can be a bit awkward meeting someone for the first time, and I found myself talking faster than usual. When I realised this, I took a deep breathe and relaxed, and that’s when conversation flowed.

There’s that word again, flow. Lately it’s been popping up regularly on my social media, in conversations with people and sometimes, even at 3am when I’m bed. It asks me to look at my life in a way I’ve never seen it before. So, what does it mean to go with the flow?

It starts with walking in my truth, hand-in-hand with the weird part of me that kind of hides away in the corner in social situations. Especially in Peru - where I’m both free to be who I am, yet still feeling my way through an introverted culture. There are times when I feel too loud, too energetic - sometimes even too independent.

Ciao 2018! Thanks for the lessons on life and men who love pizza

Choices and making them isn’t something I paid much attention to. A lot of the time I’ve just winged it and in some ways it’s served me well. I mean it got me as far as Peru, right? Then this big shift happened and it changed the way I saw myself and everything that was around me. What if my future isn’t something that happens on the other side of sleep, because that “future” is happening right now.

We’ve heard it all before, and it answers to different names. Someday, one day, could have, should have...even tomorrow. A lot of 2018 for me was spent in retrospect about the last two years, and how I was convinced that I “had to heal myself” to move on. Then I realised that each time I chose to do things that made me happy, to love myself more, it was greatly influencing the life I was creating for myself. When you let go of judgement (both of yourself and others) it asks you address the last emotional triggers that keep you from flying.

An Eclectic List Of What Makes Me Happy

I went out last night, and spent most of today napping between my bed and the couch. Confession time - I gave up drinking over ten years ago, so I couldn’t blame it on a hangover. Oh, and I also went home earlier than the others (I was in my snuggly PJs by 1am). I reheated my leftover nachos mince for lunch (my first meal of the day), and since I had no plans to move much today, I made the executive decision that I could procrastinate going to the supermarket for another day.

If my Mum is reading this, yes I did get out of bed long enough to feed the cat. Since no human life depended on me that warranted staying out of bed, I embraced the Italian philosophy of ‘Dolce far Niente’, which means ‘the sweetness of doing nothing’. It doesn’t mean being lazy, it refers to the pleasure you get from being idle.

You can say that this is an eclectic collection of thoughts and musings of what I’ve learned about life and love over the last two years. Here’s to the old me, who I am today, and the adventures yet to come...let’s drink to that!

What You Think You Are Seeking Will Not Complete You

Over the weekend, I took a walk in the Whirinaki Forest. Apart from needing to get my dose of nature’s remedy - I also wanted to find a quiet place to have a conversation with myself, to ground and make peace with something I’ve held onto for too long. April is my birthday month after all - I’ll be turning 35, and this one feels light years different than the last. It feels hopeful, the last couple of years seemed like so many things in my life ended, this time feels like I’m finally seeing the big picture.

Two days ago, I was dreaming about an erupting volcano for what felt like a split second before my 5am alarm clock kicked in. It was dark, maybe night time because everything was in silhouette, it also took me awhile to realise that in front of me was an erupting volcano. I could see the lava flow from the crater, but not close enough to feel the heat. I watched my head begin to turn away before the shriek of my alarm woke me up.

Life, Motivation, Self Love, Relationships, DatingRonna Grace Funtelar5 April 2018situationship, datingComment

Loving Yourself Isn't A Catchphrase Set In A Beautiful Typeface

Loving yourself isn’t a catchphrase set in a beautiful typeface, it’s a conscious decision to be OK with being you. Being happy despite your flaws. Feeling gratitude for all of what life offers. Embracing the lessons, especially when you did the total opposite of your mother’s advice because you thought you knew better. Best of all, it’s knowing your worth, and placing a high value on your heart. And theirs. If you want to give your heart to someone, and I mean real emotional investment, start with yourself. That means they will get the best version of you, and they can give you the best version of them.

Life, Dating, Relationships, Self LoveRonna Grace Funtelar3 March 2018loveyourself, selflove, selfworth, datingComment