The Tipping Point Of Fear
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Life is what happens…
Life is what happens when you’re busy making plans, that’s what John Lennon said. To put it simply, you can make all the plans you want, but usually life will take a different trajectory to what you thought you wanted or expected. It’s both the spice of life and what can make it frustrating.
After two months of being back in New Zealand, I definitely feel a lot more grounded. I’m starting a new job and setting realistic financial goals to ensure more stability in the future. Going from always having had a decent paying job to not having one has made me rethink my priorities and cut down on excess. I used to get frustrated at not having enough money to travel more or buy what I wanted, so I flipped my perspective on it.
I guess that had to start with asking myself what I wanted. What do I want? I’ve been reading a book I’d been given before I left Peru called ‘The 1000 Most Important Questions You Will Ever Ask Yourself: That Make Life Work for You’ by Alyss Thomas has a chapter asking that very question.
“It can be scary to define what you really want - you might get it, or you might have to put yourself on the line and take a risk that might not work out - or it could work out and you would have to make some changes.” - ‘The 1000 Most Important Questions You Will Ever Ask Yourself: That Make Life Work for You’ by Alyss Thomas
Initially I had great resistance going back into Graphic Design - I had convinced myself that
I wanted a career change, and this time round, I’m going to have the perfect job. No more office hours, no more stress, and plenty more time for adventures. Truth is, I’m actually pretty good at it. Here’s the thing, I soon realised that if I wanted a career change or my ‘idealistically’ perfect job, I had to decide what I was first willing to let go. Am I willing to be financially unstable, and have little or no income until I figured out how to pursue it? Am I content living at my parents’ home for the next two, five, or ten years? Ten years? That’s scary!
Here’s what I learned, I wasn’t prepared to be financially unstable or keep living at my parents’ house (don’t get me wrong, my parents are awesome). That’s why I took the job, because I realised that I couldn’t solve that problem with the same thinking and attitude that I used to create the problem in the first place.
We dream of being able to travel with our work, and right now that’s not a possibility. However,
I can at least do something about making that leap of faith in the future seem less scary.
Climbing at Los Olivos in Huaraz, Peru.
The tipping point of fear
I recently gave a PechaKucha presentation about the tipping point of fear, where I talked about how much a life can change by questioning long held beliefs. I had used rock climbing as a metaphor for life - where sending a hard route (‘to send a route’ means you get to the top and finish the route on a wall or crag) has many phases. There are times where you cruise, where you have to use brute strength, places that are highly technical, but most importantly, it requires focus, stamina and tenacity.
The fear of falling is something I still haven’t overcome, and there are many times I stand on the tipping point of that fear. It’s usually when I have to do a dynamic movement to reach a hold that’s just beyond my normal extension. One hand has a death grip on a hand hold while the other hand needs to move. In my head that death grip is keeping me safe from falling, but in reality it’s keeping me stuck. As my arms get tired and my legs begin to shake, I have to make a decision - do I give in to the fear or go for it.
I’m known as a static climber, meaning that my moves are usually slow and tentative (a pretty boring climber to watch to be honest). My climbing coach has been teaching me how to deadpoint - it’s where you use momentum to help you reach what you can’t reach statically. He says that I’m still resisting it because I don’t fully commit to it. I do the move that creates the momentum but I don’t follow through. It uses more energy without getting the full pay off.
How do I use the momentum of the positive changes I made in Peru in my life in New Zealand? Like, I know I’ve changed, so why am I trying to use the way of thinking I had before I left to create a new life? At the tipping point of fear you have to decide - do you do what you’ve always done and hope for a different result, or do you let go. Life is what happens when you’re busy making plans, so I’m letting go and working on the practical stuff. It feels so good to let go.
xo Ronna
fivefootronna is Ronna Grace Funtelar - a thirtyish adventurer, graphic designer and writer.
A woman with a curious mind who lives for hiking mountains, outdoor adventures and eating pizza. She has a unique brand of optimism that is a combination of her great enthusiasm for life and cups of coffee during the day.