I wrote down some long-held goals last night. Like anything, when you hear an idea verbalised or written in front of you, it gives it life. Maybe a soul even? It’s no longer this thing that just floats around in your head, you consciously drive energy towards it. I may not part seas like Moses, but I know I’m going to live the best life for me.

Oh boy, I felt an incredible shift in energy and for the first time I could see how that seed can grow. Isn’t that one of the hardest things to do, get started? I asked myself if I was taking steps to move towards those goals, and the answer didn’t surprise me at all...sorta. Sorta is this word that tells you that you have one foot in and the other is ready to bolt when it gets too hard. It’s that word that means you haven’t let go completely.

An Open Letter To The Woman In My Twenties

Time goes so fast, right? I still can’t believe I’m writing this in my thirties. Thirties! I look in the mirror every day and I swear this face doesn’t age the way my bones have. Oh I miss that youthful energy, enjoy that girlfriend, and don’t take it for granted. Before you get to meet me, you’re going to live through some of the best highlights and most profound lessons we need to learn together. Are you ready?

What My Dog Taught Me About Love And Belonging

There’s a line from one of poems which says, “My feet anchor me in the disconnect between two worlds: One, the motherland that gave me life, and the other that brought me love.” Even though I talked about falling in love when I wrote that line, now it has a different meaning. In fact, what I think about isn’t necessarily romantic love - it’s about love and belonging. Love and belonging, where what you seek and the answer is the same thing.

My dog has taught me a lot about the sense of belonging - after all dogs are pack animals, they need a leader, and as much as I loved her, I wasn’t always a great alpha for her. There were times I was uncertain of myself that she felt she had to take over and lead me out of that place of misery. She always gave me unconditional love, even more love than I gave myself.

Self Love, Life, FriendshipsRonna Grace Funtelar5 June 2018whatmydogtaughtme, loveandbelonging, doglife, rehomingdog, JCthedogComment

The Jiggle In The Middle: Being Honest About What You're Really Holding Onto

I’ve learned that you can reach a certain level of stress where you don’t even realise just how stressed you are, until you take it down a notch. That stress lives in your body, not just in your head. Like that cousin that asked to crash on your couch for a month, and now you’ve decided it’s easier to save up for a bed, just so you can have your living room back.

Stress for me was like that cousin - I allowed it to stay in my life because I thought it was something all creatives go through on their way to finding their zen. That tightrope mania where your only goal is to stay on top of the rope, but in the back of your mind, you can’t help but wonder if the people who made the net below knew what they were doing. Stress is trying to control both the present and the future. Remember that the future changes depending on how we live today, so doesn’t it make sense to focus on the here and now?

Self Love, Motivation, LifeRonna Grace Funtelar17 May 2018jiggleinthemiddle, lettinggo, emotions, lifelessonsComment

Why I'm Moving To Peru

Maybe I’m hoping Peru is my version of people going to India to find themselves.

I do have a return ticket, so technically my eight months away may not ring with the same permanence as a one-way ticket. This I know is true, I would rather go now and find out for sure, than to spend the rest of my life wondering what-if.

Rain has been relentless this weekend, yet somehow I managed to drag myself out of hibernation and socialise. I also finally emptied my storage unit, which really just means that all ‘my stuff’ is now in my parents’ garage. Does it mean that after almost two years, I’ve officially moved back in? Useful things I’ve found in my plastic bins include: Thick and wooly socks, a scarf, two reams of blank A4 paper and the instruction manual to my GoPro Hero4. The real work starts when I start sorting them out - wish me luck!

By the way, have you watched the movie, Call Me By Your Name, from the book by André Aciman? I need to read the book, but what a beautiful story. At the core of the storyline is a love story, though maybe not in the way you would assume it to play out. It didn’t end with a ‘happy ending’ for the lovers, and I would have been disappointed if it did. You see, even though the main character was left rejected and heartbroken, I admired him for being able to talk about how he felt. Ironically, even as a writer, telling someone how I feel about them while they’re still in my life isn’t easy. Talking in front of a large crowd won’t phase me, but each time I stared into their eyes, words escape me.

Self Love, Travel, Relationships, Marriage, LifeRonna Grace Funtelar29 April 2018movingtoperu, lettinggo, thegoodinyouComment

Positive Changes Don't Always Feel Good

In early January I wrote a poem called Summer Rain - the idea literally came to me as a sudden sun shower came out from nowhere. The first verse came quick, but the rest of the poem took over two weeks to write. Or maybe, I was just scared to write with so much honesty.

Who was the poem about? An unrequited love? Not quite. More like someone who was a band aid to the bouts of loneliness I go through. Which isn’t as often, or last as long as the early days. It’s one of the few poems where I had allowed myself to be truly vulnerable, and it takes a lot for me to keep my emotions from spilling over when I perform it.