Time goes so fast, right? I still can’t believe I’m writing this in my thirties. Thirties! I look in the mirror every day and I swear this face doesn’t age the way my bones have. Oh I miss that youthful energy, enjoy that girlfriend, and don’t take it for granted. Before you get to meet me, you’re going to live through some of the best highlights and most profound lessons we need to learn together. Are you ready?
You won’t know it yet, but that twenty-something woman you think you are, that’s going to change...a lot. Don’t worry about it, you figure it out in the end, you always do. How’s the new job? Crazy to think how it’s worked out for you, I mean you didn’t even know you were going to do Graphic Design until three months before you graduated from high school. Living in Wellington was pretty epic, wasn’t it? It was good to get out of Whakatane for awhile, you know, be somewhere where people didn’t know your name. You talked to a lot of new people that year! I was proud of you for that.
Have you gotten over your fear of talking to men yet? Maybe even learned how to flirt a little? Isn’t it fun? Thanks for putting in the practise, we definitely needed that in our thirties. I can’t remember exactly when you gave up drinking, but I’m glad you did. You had more fun without it anyway!
Here’s some goss for you...somewhere along the way, you’re going to fall in love. It’s going to shape how you see yourself as a woman, not to mention your hopes and dreams. Don’t fight it, because we learn a lot from it together. You see, when you fell in love, you didn’t really know who you were. Not yet, but like I said, you figure it out in the end. That feeling will overwhelm you and you can’t picture your life without him. That overseas trip you’ve promised yourself, you’ll try not to leave, because you want to be with him. He was after all the first man you said ‘I love you’ to.
He sees you off at the airport a year and a half later - you were excited, conflicted and frustrated all at once. Why frustrated? You have convinced yourself that he was the right person at the wrong time. How could the Universe let you fall in love when it knew you were busy planning this big adventure in your life?
Somewhere along the way, you start to build a life together. What’s that saying? First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes...well the baby didn’t of course. Babies weren’t on the radar back then anyway.
Oh by the way, are you still trying to live up to other people’s expectations of you? That gets exhausting. I’m a lot happier now because I eventually took my own advice, you will too, but not for awhile yet. Walking your own path won’t be easy, there will be many times you will feel lonely and think that no one understands you. You’re right, maybe they don’t, but it doesn’t mean they don’t care. That’s a big lesson you will learn - you didn’t have to do it all by yourself, people wanted to help you, they just didn’t know how to.
I have some exciting news for you...remember how you always wanted to go to South America? Yeah, I’m going to make that happen in a few months. What took me so long, right? I guess I was waiting for the right time, but the Universe got tired of waiting.
Everything falls into place when it needs to, and I’m just grateful that you lived through all that so I can enjoy today. It took over a decade for all the pieces to come together. See, I knew you would figure it out in the end.
Proud of you.
Ronna Grace Funtelar is a thirtyish storyteller, creative, writer and slam poet currently based in New Zealand. She is a hobby hiker, photography and sunrise enthusiast with a passion for mindfully helping others live beyond their comfort zone.Basically, a shorty who knows her life purpose.