There She Goes - Getting Ready For The Jump Off

The rain has stopped, and the house is really quiet. Except for my music - it feels like the world’s asleep and it’s not even 10pm. I’ve spent most of today on the couch, so maybe I’m trying to feel productive in what’s left of today. Hiking 18km in the Pakihi beats my usual leg day session. Today I chose to rest, plus I was sore.

What’s on my mind tonight? Nothing heavy, just reflecting I guess.

You can say that for every ending there is a beginning. Awhile back when I got the letter in the mail, I marked the date on my phone: Monday July 16, 2018. If you’ve been following my journey, you can probably figure out what was in that letter. I thought I would be sad, but really I felt more relief than anything, this was it, the sign from the Universe that really, it’s time for me to move on.

Out Of My Comfort Zone - Walking The Talk At Toastmasters

I don’t talk about that part of myself a lot often because being vulnerable is hard for me. These last few weeks I’ve been really struggling with my confidence, which I have kept hidden. When you begin the process of emotional purging (which has really stepped up lately) you begin to question everything about yourself - and all you believe that is solid gets a shake up too. It can freak you out, like I did, because what I thought was certain is now up in the air.

“Oh gosh breathe girl, just breathe.” That’s what I kept telling myself, because I didn’t want to quit. I was embarrassed, yes, but I worked too hard to just sit down for the rest of the meeting. The irony of the moment didn’t escape me - my speech was about how Toastmasters was teaching me to help others step out of their comfort zone. I had to make the choice to now walk the talk.

Scooping Up The Last Poop: How It Feels To Rehome A Dog

How long before a dog realises that they’re not coming home? She had a goofy smile on her face as the car drove away, and it took all I had not to cry in front of her. I was naive to think it would be easier than this. I’m glad it was raining, because I was sitting in parking lot...bawling my eyes out. I don’t normally allow myself to be that openly emotional. That level of vulnerability is rare for me.

I realised that she was really gone...and it hurt so bad.

Life, FriendshipsRonna Grace Funtelar2 July 2018rehomingdog, doglife, JCthedog, whatmydogtaughtmeComment

A Life On Stage: In The Spectrum Of My Introvertedness

My friend Steph and I don’t see each other very often, in fact, it may have been a year since we last had lunch together. She was in town for a few weeks and as her time is always in demand, having her to myself for a whole hour is precious indeed. There’s a lot about her journey that walked through the same pot holes of uncertainty that I did, and having learned of her story before my own unfolded kept me hopeful that I too would come out the other side wiser and more resilient.

Whenever I say that there’s a big part of me that’s an introvert, people usually react in disbelief. How can someone who has lead such a public life in the performing arts be an introvert? Surely that confidence is in all aspects of my life, and my persona on stage is just an extension of that? Steph has heard this so often that she’s lost count. To her, that persona or “game face” as she called it, is the medium to deliver her message. Her personal life, the one where she is far more guarded, is reserved for her closest friends and family.

The Burden Of Chasing The Certainty

I wrote down some long-held goals last night. Like anything, when you hear an idea verbalised or written in front of you, it gives it life. Maybe a soul even? It’s no longer this thing that just floats around in your head, you consciously drive energy towards it. I may not part seas like Moses, but I know I’m going to live the best life for me.

Oh boy, I felt an incredible shift in energy and for the first time I could see how that seed can grow. Isn’t that one of the hardest things to do, get started? I asked myself if I was taking steps to move towards those goals, and the answer didn’t surprise me at all...sorta. Sorta is this word that tells you that you have one foot in and the other is ready to bolt when it gets too hard. It’s that word that means you haven’t let go completely.

An Open Letter To The Woman In My Twenties

Time goes so fast, right? I still can’t believe I’m writing this in my thirties. Thirties! I look in the mirror every day and I swear this face doesn’t age the way my bones have. Oh I miss that youthful energy, enjoy that girlfriend, and don’t take it for granted. Before you get to meet me, you’re going to live through some of the best highlights and most profound lessons we need to learn together. Are you ready?