Own your awesome and work to your strengths

I don’t remember my first day of school, but I still have memories of being in Ms Nagit’s class. She must have been in her early thirties (adults all look older when you’re a kid, right?), usually dressed in a corporate two piece with heels that would echo as she paced the classroom. Ms Nagit was my last teacher in the Philippines before we moved to New Zealand and it wasn’t until I started teaching dance and TEFL that I realised how much of a profound influence being in her class had on my internal tapes.

My sister and I went to Dominican School, a private Catholic school in Manila. A quick Google tells me the uniform hasn’t changed much since we went there in the eighties - it always reminded me of something out of the Sailor Moon cartoon I used to watch as a kid. Even though I did enjoy going to school, based on the Philippine education standard I was at best, pretty average. On the other hand, my older sister Khristina was almost always at the top of her class.

Choose to be the energy in the room, don't adapt to it

I’ve spent the last five years in introspection, digging right down to the bedrock to make sense of the woman I was becoming. Yet lately I’ve been asked to embrace a much different energy. Last year, apart from living through a pandemic, I also had emergency surgery. I had been in severe pain for three days until my mum finally convinced me to go to see my doctor on the fourth. I didn’t go home after that, just straight to A&E. It took me out for two months - no dancing, no climbing, no hiking.

Funny things happen when you’re forced to be still. It planted a seed of thought that's just now manifesting in my world (mostly because I'm a procrastinator when it comes to these things).

I’ve been part of the waiata (singing) group at work for almost as long as I’ve worked there. Singing is something I enjoy and it’s a great way to get to know your workmates. I can sing in tune most of the time but I’ve always been more comfortable as part of the ensemble, not as a soloist. I would turn up to waiata on a Friday, and all around me I could many around me holding back. So I held back too. We mirrored each other, and for a while I felt our growth as a group stagnate.

Let go. Receive. Be open to love. Give more hugs.

Have you ever had a recurring dream that you remember so vividly that you wonder if you had actually lived that moment in a parallel universe? Quite the question, I know. I’ve had two dreams like that, and they always pop up whenever I’m changing trajectory or procrastinating about some life decisions. The flying one is my favourite.

I’ve always been fascinated by dreams, but apart from the odd Google search, I’ve never done much about it. Last week as I was scrolling through a friend’s Instagram, I read a comment that was talking about a dream interpretation workshop. It was meant to be in-person that weekend, but because of the lockdown, had moved it to Zoom.

Here’s the thing, I’m not a fan of Zoom. Dislike, yes. Hate? I wouldn’t go that far. I easily get distracted with whatever my face is doing, conversations never flow, and somehow the silence is more awkward as you all stare intensely at the screen.

"So, What's Next?" What Happens After Coming Home From A Gap Year.

After almost a year of living in Peru, I’m now back in Aotearoa, the land of the long white clouds. “So, what’s next?” Once I had announced that I was coming back to New Zealand, that became the most common question
in my inbox. It’s not surprising really, after all we live in a world where information comes at the nimbleness of our fingers and only hindered by the speed of our internet connections. Life’s biggest questions can often be answered by a six-letter search engine, so why not this one?

Why Taking A Gap Year In My Thirties Has Been The Best Decision Ever

If like me, you’re single and in your thirties, you’ll probably relate. I go through a cycle where I’m super comfortable about where I’m at in life - I do what I want, I’m going out and having fun and just doing me. Then,
I meet someone who either makes me rethink this whole being single thing, or it reminds exactly why I like being single.

People usually take their gap year after high school, but what happens when you get to your thirties and you feel like you’re on a raft in the middle of the ocean without a paddle? That’s why I decided to take a gap year. Sure, it isn’t the most adulting decision ever, but that space, time and permission to start over and get to know the real me again has been a real game changer. I’ve made some incredible connections and taken up new hobbies that I never thought I would, like rock climbing.

Remember That You're Not Starting From Scratch, You're Starting Over With Experience

The cackle of my laughter briefly filled the room. Two of my girlfriends were teasing me about a guy I liked - they gestured a slight flick of the hair and it triggered laughter in me that I couldn’t contain. I had been away for three weeks and today marked just my third day back in Huaraz. There was a comforting familiarity in their presence and seeing them was the icing on the cake on being home.

I had a giggle to myself as I walked home, remembering the mischievous glint in their eyes. Huaraz feels like home, it really does. I’ve begun to build a new life here, made friends, so it will surprise some people back in Whakatane that I’ll be heading back in just three months. Mind you, that’s almost a year living in Peru.