P.S. I love you.
Whether it’s love, work, or chasing dreams, we’ll always find a reason
not to.Find a reason to.
Mark Groves
“You look like you’re dancing,” that’s what my friend John told me after he took that shot. Whose great idea was it to walk barefoot in the middle of the road anyway? Oh, it was mine...damn it. We were only 15 minutes into the shoot and my feet were already sore from the loose stones on the road. There was nothing graceful as I scuttled out of the way from oncoming traffic.
He was right, I was dancing. For some reason Cold Chisel’s “Flame Trees” began to play in my head like that nostalgic radio you keep in the shed. The kind that collects dust for years, waiting faithfully for you to appreciate that familiar crackle as you turn the knob to tune it into the right frequency.
Dance and I have had an all-consuming relationship for most of my adult life - to be honest, I think it says more about my slightly obsessive nature that my ability to be in relationships. It’s well and truly imprinted in who I am. But there’s no denying that it has shaped me as a woman. That’s why when I decided to no longer teach hip hop at the end of 2020, I knew that I wanted to take up belly dancing again.
Fan veil solo at the Whakatāne Dance Carnival, 2021. Photo credit: Dave Hall / Arts Whakatāne
I was learning how to belly dance around the same time I began to build up my old dance studio. That must have been in my late twenties, but some of those years are a bit of a blur. The movement celebrated my curves, not hid them. It was sensual, powerful and at times made me feel like a goddess. I danced amongst women of all shapes and sizes. It was glorious.
As the studio took on more classes, I just didn’t have the energy or brain space to do both.
After joining a local belly dance troupe last year, it took me a while to get used to seeing my jiggle in the middle. I am bigger than what I was a year ago and my body moves differently - it has taken a lot of getting used to. I dug deep and found what was triggering those insecurities - letting go of my fear of judgement is such an incredible release. Like, legit.
That’s why I love this quote by Mark Groves:
Whether it’s love, work, or chasing dreams, we’ll always find a reason not to. Find a reason to.
I’m moving into a new season, not just with dance, but also in life. I felt the energy begin to shift last year, but I wasn’t fully tuned in and there was still some static. It was patient even when I was resistant. I don’t know what’s coming yet, but I’m ready. I’m ready for something, someone amazing. Wherever this year is going to take me, I’m ready.
I’m just a bit in love with life, you know?
xo Ronna Grace
fivefootronna is Ronna Grace Funtelar - a thirtyish adventurer, sometimes poet and lover of cheese. She has a unique brand of optimism that is a combination of her great enthusiasm for life and cups of coffee during the day.