The river after the storm

I'm turning 40 this year.

It feels surreal to be saying that. One thing's for sure, I've been living a very different season since my 30th. We had a low-key celebration in the dance studio while training for a national competition. My dance crew baked a cake for me, sang an enthusiastic happy birthday, and my mum even brought some treats that kept us fuelled and motivated. It's been a few years since I was about that life. A lot of rushing around that was.

How do I plan to celebrate this milestone? I'm not sure yet, but like past birthdays since I turned 36, I hope it's somewhere near the mountains.

The invisible strand: What does connection mean to me?

Ngahaka has a great smile - the kind that lights up a room without taking away the shine from yours. We both work for the Council, but don’t really cross paths professionally. Thinking about it, I had mostly spoken to her at waiata (singing) on Friday mornings. We were on a three-day noho marae together last week, and I felt like it was the first time I really ‘saw’ her.

Over the years, I’ve become comfortable having deep life conversations with total strangers in my search for connection. Beats talking about the weather anyway. But I also know that level of vulnerability doesn’t come easy. To open up like that requires a lot of trust - not just in the other person, but more importantly, in yourself. Once those words leave your mouth, you can’t take it back. You have to be strong enough to take what the other person offers in return. It can also take a lot of energy without giving back any in return.