I’ve reached the dreaded plateau, I am sitting comfortably between 62-63 kilos, and getting there is already a positive place for me. Six months ago, and for many years, I had to use a knee support for my right knee whenever I did physical activity (due to a dislocated knee when I was 17). It limited what I chose to do, and was a convenient excuse to stay comfortable. Comfortably numb? Maybe.
When I joined the gym, I set three goals: 1) To gain strength and stamina, 2) To live a better lifestyle and 3) To strengthen my quads so that I could dance without my knee support. Six months on, I have managed to keep my weight down and my knee is grateful. I can safely squat forty kilos, which I am pretty proud of. Also, I have been able to give up fizzy drinks, and don’t find myself as bloated. Sugar is still in my life, but as they say, lasting change takes time, and I’m still learning about my emotional triggers.
I can see some old habits creeping back in - late night dinners due to late nights at the studio, forgetting to eat, and guilting myself to doing more than what my body can handle. A few months back, I wrote how I would wake up around 5am, and it frustrated me as I struggled to get back to sleep. I decided to accept it as I figured my body must be waking me up for a reason, so these days I just go to the gym in the morning. Turns out there are some early risers in Whakatane too.
Looking in the mirror, it’s so easy to pick out the flaws, the extra jiggle. What changes are others seeing that I’m not? I don’t hate my body, but why don’t I see clearly the gains that others are excited about? Why, why, why!
OK I had to giggle at that, because that’s the ego talking, and like my booty, it can be pretty big. I’m currently reading two books, one of them being ‘The Secret’, and ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F&*k’. People probably assume I flick through cookbooks or drool over food photos all day, but there’s some lesson in those books that’s probably going to help me in the future, I just don’t know it yet.
I’m currently creating a new vision board, with goals I want to achieve before the year is out, and some for next year too. Mum and Dad are heading home to the Philippines for Christmas, and I’m still undecided where JC and I will spend Christmas. I don’t really want to leave her in a kennel during my break, so we’re going to find somewhere awesome together.
Tonight I’m going to meet up with our real estate agent to get the house on the market, and I’m genuinely excited about it. I’ve reached a place where I see that it will be home to new faces, and will create memories of their own. I will miss the morning Lockwood hallway creek, waking up to sunshine as the bedroom is north facing, heat pressing in the shed and of course, cooking in my kitchen. I dreamt a figure that I want it to sell for, now it's up to me to let the Universe to make it happen. I am grateful it was once my home, and I am walking away with love.
“A change will do you good”, yes Sheryl Crowe, yes indeed.