# 13 The Face of A Sociable Introvert

Many Faces

People make and break New Year's resolutions like my dogs love to chew and break my jandals. It's like this need to conform to society's expectations, yet rebel against it on the inside. I stopped doing resolutions in high school, partly from laziness, and at that time I knew I didn't have the mindset to follow it through. Hey, at least I was honest from the outset, right?

I wear many faces, I could call them masks, but I think mask represents a fakeness that I'm not. The "faces" I show are different sides of me, depending on my role and what society needs from me. I play the game, and keep my private side for my closest friends and family. This may come as a surprise to many, but I'm an extremely private person, yet lead a public life...a sociable introvert.

INTROVERT: It describes a person who tends to turn inward mentally. Introverts sometimes avoid large groups of people, feeling more energized by time alone. The opposite of an introvert is an extrovert, who finds energy in interactions with others.
— www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/introvert

The Sociable Introvert

Introverts are often stereotyped as loners, probably hanging out at the library reading an encyclopaedia, sipping on carrot juice (maybe the carrot juice is more hipster than anything). Introverts like people, they may just prefer their own company than a loud party, or getting lost in their thoughts, with an enriched imagination that can only be envied.

I believe I'm an introvert at heart, which will surprise a lot of people who know me through my dancing. Many don't know that I only started performing at this level at 19 years old. I spent most of my time listening in social situations, there was always someone else who wanted to talk so I let them. People don't realise how much you can learn when you listen to the words they use, what they wish they had the courage to say. Sometimes I think people who talk a lot distract you from discovering who they really are.


What is the best thing about being an introvert? As I grow older, I understood that I could let go of the fear of being alone. And that meant the friendships and relationships in my life were rich in love, genuine care and understanding. Those who make it into my inner circle see the raw version of me, living my truth, happy as.

# 7 That moment

Our photo shoot for The Discovery of Fire poster promo. Photo by Emma Weber.

Our photo shoot for The Discovery of Fire poster promo. Photo by Emma Weber.

Last week has been a real eye opener, with some of the usual ups and downs of studio life and people in my life, but mostly because I got super emotional. The great thing was that after my big cry, I realised it was exactly what my soul needed to process the emotional chaos, and I woke up at peace with it all. I sat in my car alone, enjoying the twilight and serenity of the coastal lights.

By the way, above is the result of our photo shoot from Friday, and it summed up the fun and learning we've had this year.

On Saturday I went to a workshop called 'Living and Working in your Element', hosted by the awesome Steph Holloway. The workshop was a taster to her usual 4 session course, which helps people identify and design the life you love. She also wrote the book of the same name, and I was lucky enough to design it for her.

I have also decided to give slam poetry a go. I'm even entering my first ever slam in two weeks time, my friend and I are heading to Tauranga together. This isn't what I'm going to perform, but it was one I wrote this weekend.


Scared of missing out, being unwanted.
Of losing friends who I thought got it.

I was defined by their words
Because fear is a blanket that sooths you
Until the lack of oxygen turns into a smothering
And you don’t want to let go because it’s comforting
And in your lowest of lows
Fear, feels like a life raft.
— fivefootronna

The biggest lesson I was reminded of is that we can't force people to be in our lives if they don't want to be. We may feel hurt if we feel they are pushing us away, but it's ok. If they are meant to stay in our lives, they will, otherwise we can learn and grow from that experience.

Love yourself, and live life in love and light.

Much love and hugs

# 4 What people think of me

This post was inspired by a conversation I had with one of my dancers this afternoon. I listened to their concerns about dance, experiences so far, and obvious frustrations. This isn't about throwing shade, far from it. By listening to this concerned and thoughtful teenager I realised there was an even bigger conversation I wanted to have with her. Here goes...


Dear Awesome Person,

Firstly, thank you for talking to me today. Listening to you made me both sad and hopeful. Sad because I could hear the frustration in your voice. You're at an age where you're looking for your place in the world and don't want to miss out on anything. 

Why hopeful? Hopeful because you're at a stage in life where you're learning about true friendships, and making good decisions on those. Sometimes you feel like a circle trying to fit into a square. You my dear, are born to shine, don't let others make you doubt that.

It was interesting when you told me what some people in the community thought of me. If you had told the person I was back in 2012, I'm sure I would have reacted differently. As I listened to you, it made me think of this quote.

My philosophy is: It’s none of my business what people say of me and think of me.
— Anthony Hopkins

The truth is, yes, criticism hurts, at any age. But what I have learned is that my journey is my own, and constantly comparing myself to other people is tiresome. I will never win. By focusing my energy on learning, improving and growing, each step takes me closer to achieving my goals. Then I can set more. 

Oh one last thing, surround yourself with people that are heading towards similar goals that you are. They don't have to think exactly like you, or always agree with your methods, but as long as you encourage and support each other, those are the kind of people that will build you up. True friends and mentors will challenge you, motivate you, and best of all, be there to see you through the doubt.


Much love and hugs

#1 Always Looking Up

Three things about me...

I am short.

I am Asian.

I am an awesome motivator and coach.

For most of my life, being called short was annoying. I'm not disputing the FACT I am vertically challenged, I just didn't like what I perceived people meant by that statement. Yes there are people who assumed being told I am short is a sensitive issue, and yes, it used to be. Now, it's become part of my identity AND it helped me realise that being short has given me an awesome view of the world...that I was always looking up.

WOAH! I know right. Take a breath, because this gets better.

"Always looking up!" Gosh, what does that really mean? For me, it's about seeing the glass half full, seeing the doughnut and not just the hole, or simply, looking on the brighter side of life (cue whistling tune). When I learned how to see the opportunities instead of the obstacles, doors just opened. I am not saying it happened overnight, or that it was easy, because it wasn't. 

As I write this I am in my 32nd year of life. I can truly say I thought career changes are VERY SCARY in your thirties. In this stage of my life, I am building my dance studio business, holding down a day job, and rebranding fivefootronna. Oh and not to mention that my husband and I currently own one dog and nine puppies. No kids as yet, but they will come into the picture sooner or later. For the first time since I left school, I am seeing a whole new direction for me, and I AM LOVING IT!

To be honest, I haven't yet fully defined what fivefootronna will become. I can tell you that the brand began as a clothing line, but sort of lingered in the sea of "do it later" because it wasn't really what I wanted to do. You see my main motivation for selling designs was to make money. And what I have learned with my creative self is that if money is my main motivation to sell, I grew bored of it. I am no fashionista, I don't follow trends, and I can barely tell you the names of clothing brands. Let's move on.

What I do know is that fivefootronna will be the bridge and connector between the "I wish" to the "I can", to the "Living it". I don't have a degree in this, I don't hide that fact. I do have a lot of experience being a mentor / life coach / teacher / motivator in my role as teacher and owner of my dance studio. I am also an great listener, not just listening to what you tell me, but to what you don't. 

I don't have a gazillion dollars, so if that's your measure of success, then you best move on to someone else. I wake up looking forward to what life brings me, AND I am always seeking to improve on myself and fill the gaps in my knowledge. I won't just tell you what you want to hear, I walk the talk.

I want to be the bridge and connector between the “I wish” to the “I can” to “Living it”.
— fivefootronna

Much love and hugs