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I like the way that you give her the space to win - by supporting her, and showing her how to believe in her own magic. I think it’s really beautiful and speaks volumes about the man that you are.

Our lives essentially revolve around relationships - with people we care about, at work, fleeting moments with strangers, and yes, even with the style-guru at your favourite local store. I learned that the more I worked on my relationship with myself, the better I treat the relationships that actually matter to me. For the first time in my adult life, I can finally talk to my Mum with a level of honesty that gives me hope that some of the walls I’ve built over the last four years are slowly coming down.

After getting sick at the end of July, there was a time when I wasn’t even sure if I would finish my speech for Inspiring Women NZ 2020, let alone deliver it. Those three weeks were an emotional purge, and as the words spilled onto the screen, I felt like I was writing what I needed to hear myself. It was even more fascinating that although none of the speakers had spoken to each other before the event, we all had recurring themes: Pursuing passions, facing fears, failing forward, and embracing our point of difference.

Something I shared at the event that most people didn’t know about is that I did meet someone in Perú. The chemistry between us surprised me, mostly because physically, he wasn’t what I was used to. As much as I was attracted to him, something in my gut also held me back. There was a familiarity to his story that I didn’t recognise until the end. It highlighted the reality that over the years I had been dating the same man, just with different faces. It begged the question of what I still needed to work on that the same man kept showing up in my life.

A good place to start is to define what a healthy relationship looks like to me.

That’s something I saw in Corrine and her partner Casey. Corrine was also a speaker at Inspiring Women NZ and both are colleagues of mine. Corrine is the owner of Curated Curves, which sells new and pre-loved plus-size clothing for women, as well as working part-time and being a momma of two.

Corrine wore a smile on her face, yet I saw the nervousness in her eyes. It didn’t help that she had lost some of her cue cards somewhere between walking from the carpark to the venue. As we sat round the table waiting for the event to begin, it was clear that Corrine was growing more nervous. Casey would listen to her, simply smile and then reassure her that she would be great. Not because her speech was perfect, but that she was brave enough to share her story.

I turned to them both and said, “You know Casey, I like the way that you give her the space to win - by supporting her, and showing her how to believe in her own magic. I think it’s really beautiful and speaks volumes about the man that you are.”

Giving people the space to win (whether in our personal or professional relationships), comes from a place that our light isn’t dimmed by encouraging others to shine brighter. That’s why I like events like Inspiring Women NZ - it celebrates our wins, failures and life lessons and gives us pocketfuls of wisdom that can be applied in our own lives.

Being able to share my story with unapologetic honesty showed me that I’m ready to let go of the woman I was, and to focus my energy on building a new life for myself. What that brings will be an adventure in itself. I know one thing’s for sure - the mountains are calling, and so I will go.

xo Ronna Grace

fivefootronna is Ronna Grace Funtelar - a thirtyish adventurer, graphic designer and writer.
A woman with a curious mind who lives for hiking mountains, outdoor adventures and eating pizza. She has a unique brand of optimism that is a combination of her great enthusiasm for life and cups of coffee during the day.