This year is about being the person I would want to date and continue to live in the space between the good and incredible. I know it will eventually lead to somewhere and someone wonderful in the end, I just have to be patient.

The last time I was at Karaponga Falls, I was on a date. Sounds romantic, I know. We spent a few hours sitting by the waterfall just talking, eating fresh berries from a local farm and me endlessly wondering how you would actually kiss a man with a beard the size of his. Unfortunately, I never did find out. His beard was glorious, and I often found myself mesmerised how he managed to keep it clean when he was eating.

We clicked intellectually and spiritually - I have a thing for intelligent men after all. He was in his thirties, though still a few years younger than me. What he lacked in years, he sure made up for in height. It seems tall, intelligent men is my flavour. You can’t help what you’re attracted to, right?

“Have you ever meditated in front of a waterfall?” He asked me as we stood on the rocks, watching the water flow past our boots. I shook my head. “When you come back next time, sit here, but turn your back. Close your eyes and let the energy flow through you instead of taking it head on.” It took a couple of months before I came back. 

In the few hours we were there, we didn’t see anyone else. I don’t know if it was the way the water flowed down the falls and into the boulders downstream, but now and then we thought we could hear people talking. Not just a couple of people having a conversation, but more like a group of people chatting as they were walking up the track. The sound would then disappear a few metres from where we sat.

We stayed long enough that the light began to change in the forest and our stomachs began to rumble. It was daylight savings so it wasn’t late enough for sunset. The temperature was beginning to drop too, so we knew it was time to head back to the car. For lots of reasons, this was actually the last time we saw each other.

I went back recently, mainly because I knew it would be quiet and was hoping I would have the waterfall to myself. I got lucky and the only people I saw was a family that was already heading back on my way there.

Even though there were clear blue skies as I walked through the paddock from the car park, it was much cooler at the waterfall. Like the last time I had visited, there wasn’t much flow from the waterfall and leaving most of the boulders exposed. In the middle of the stream was a fallen log with a flat section that made the perfect seat. I put my bag down on a nearby rock, sat down, took a deep breath then closed my eyes.

It took a few minutes before my brain relaxed and my body followed not long after. The feeling first started like a light breeze, and only the exposed skin felt the cool air flow past me. I went deeper and let go. That’s when it happened. It just came out of nowhere. I felt it rush through my upper back and through my chest - I exhaled loudly and my eyes opened suddenly.

How did it feel? Think of it like when your ears are blocked, maybe from a change in air pressure, and no matter what you do they just won’t pop. Then, they just do. It’s a sense of relief, you don’t really think much of it and you get on with your day. It wasn’t nirvana or a defining moment in my existence, but it sure felt good.

I’ve been blessed to have been able to pack in so many incredible memories in my life so far, my Mum calls me lucky, I think it’s equal parts impulsive and adventurous. So here I am, a couple of years shy of 40 and still exploring the full spectrum of happiness. I play in the space between the good and the incredible, and I guess it has finally flowed onto my dating life lately. I saw how impatient I was to meet someone to share this next chapter with that I would close my heart whenever I felt rejected. I’ve grown up a lot emotionally these last couple of years. 

This year is about being the person I would want to date and continue to live in the space between the good and incredible. I know it will eventually lead to somewhere and someone wonderful in the end, I just have to be patient.

xo Ronna Grace

fivefootronna is Ronna Grace Funtelar - a thirtyish adventurer, sometimes poet and lover of cheese. She has a unique brand of optimism that is a combination of her great enthusiasm for life and cups of coffee during the day.