STUCK - Friends, Lovers and The Obscurity of In Between
My first book officially launched on Sunday, 28 May 2017 in Whakatane. One year, 34 chapters and 122 pages - it's just a snapshot of what 2016 was like for me. The book follows my first of year of separation with my ex-husband. A time where I often felt like I was treading water, in limbo, and afraid of what my future would look like. My dog and I moved back in with my parents. As the chapters grew, I found there were many parts of my life that were 'stuck' and it took months of soul-searching to slowly begin to let go of my old life.
This isn't an angry woman story - although I have to admit that there were parts of me that felt ugly, weak and angry for a long time. The burden of negative emotions felt heavy and suffocating. To forgive him meant I first had to forgive myself. I'm still working on that. As the saying goes, you can be right or you can be happy, but never be both. After I published the book, it felt like I owed it to myself to find a way to close this chapter of my life and to move on.
If you came across this book in your own search for healing, I hope it helps you in whatever way you need it to (or simply enjoy it). I can tell you now that the woman who wrote it no longer exists, in the sense that I can't change what happened, yet acknowledge that it helped me become the happier and more grounded person I am today. She still lives in my memories, because there are plenty there. So I set her free - she looks in on my adventures and walks alongside, but she won't be with me in the next chapter. Writing this book gave me a sense of purpose, healing and a renewed love of life - I hope it does for you too.