The Language Of Loss: Giving Grief A Voice (Part 1)

How differently do we feel about and celebrate the ‘firsts’ in our lives? A baby’s first steps, or their last day of high school? What about our own milestones? When someone we love, more importantly a parent, is sick or passes away, how does it change the way we see those ‘firsts’? The first day, our first birthday, even instinctively picking up the phone to share with them your good news only to realise they wouldn't be picking up on the other end.

Does it change our relationships and how we see the world? I reached out to a few friends who have experienced the loss of one or two parents with intention of giving us a greater understanding of how we can make the most of our relationships in the living years. Even though our loved ones have passed away, could we use that loss to positively impact ourselves and those we love?

How writing a stranger’s memoirs taught me to live fully and love unapologetically

“Have you made peace with it, you know, with the fact that you’re dying?”

It's not the easiest question to ask someone you barely know, then again, I was here to write her memoirs. If she wasn't dying I wouldn't be sitting in her room at the rest home, where the walls had the personality of a non-existent Summer, which perfectly complimented the passive mood lighting overhead.

She is a friend’s Mum, someone I knew of only by name until three weeks ago. How do you earn the trust of a stranger to allow you insight into their life, maybe into memories their loved ones didn't even know about? The answer is to have compassion without pity, to listen with curiosity and to write with the intention of giving them a genuine voice.

They say that no parent should have to bury their child, yet as an adult and seeing your parent in pain is just as hard. Nothing prepares you, and you have to find your own way through it. My friend knows this too well.

Friendships, Life, Grief and LossRonna Grace Funtelar22 August 2018writingmemoirs, griefandloss, livefully, loveunapologeticallyComment

How To Prepare Your Heart And Mind For Travel

People ask me everyday, “Are you excited about Peru?”

I’m so excited about traveling that my body is literally sick with anticipation. My eating habits are all whack, sleeping patterns are more like naps of doom, and don’t even talk to me about ‘the list’. It’s not like I’m getting cold feet, more like I wish this was a spontaneous trip so I can just pack my bag and disappear already.

Here’s the thing, as a frequent solo traveller, I’m used to these pre-travel jitters. You just have to ride it out and check yourself before you wreck yourself. Before leaving on my bigger adventures, there's a mental health checklist I go through to make sure that I have my heart and mind ready before flying out.

An Eclectic List Of What Makes Me Happy

I went out last night, and spent most of today napping between my bed and the couch. Confession time - I gave up drinking over ten years ago, so I couldn’t blame it on a hangover. Oh, and I also went home earlier than the others (I was in my snuggly PJs by 1am). I reheated my leftover nachos mince for lunch (my first meal of the day), and since I had no plans to move much today, I made the executive decision that I could procrastinate going to the supermarket for another day.

If my Mum is reading this, yes I did get out of bed long enough to feed the cat. Since no human life depended on me that warranted staying out of bed, I embraced the Italian philosophy of ‘Dolce far Niente’, which means ‘the sweetness of doing nothing’. It doesn’t mean being lazy, it refers to the pleasure you get from being idle.

You can say that this is an eclectic collection of thoughts and musings of what I’ve learned about life and love over the last two years. Here’s to the old me, who I am today, and the adventures yet to come...let’s drink to that!

There She Goes - Getting Ready For The Jump Off

The rain has stopped, and the house is really quiet. Except for my music - it feels like the world’s asleep and it’s not even 10pm. I’ve spent most of today on the couch, so maybe I’m trying to feel productive in what’s left of today. Hiking 18km in the Pakihi beats my usual leg day session. Today I chose to rest, plus I was sore.

What’s on my mind tonight? Nothing heavy, just reflecting I guess.

You can say that for every ending there is a beginning. Awhile back when I got the letter in the mail, I marked the date on my phone: Monday July 16, 2018. If you’ve been following my journey, you can probably figure out what was in that letter. I thought I would be sad, but really I felt more relief than anything, this was it, the sign from the Universe that really, it’s time for me to move on.

Out Of My Comfort Zone - Walking The Talk At Toastmasters

I don’t talk about that part of myself a lot often because being vulnerable is hard for me. These last few weeks I’ve been really struggling with my confidence, which I have kept hidden. When you begin the process of emotional purging (which has really stepped up lately) you begin to question everything about yourself - and all you believe that is solid gets a shake up too. It can freak you out, like I did, because what I thought was certain is now up in the air.

“Oh gosh breathe girl, just breathe.” That’s what I kept telling myself, because I didn’t want to quit. I was embarrassed, yes, but I worked too hard to just sit down for the rest of the meeting. The irony of the moment didn’t escape me - my speech was about how Toastmasters was teaching me to help others step out of their comfort zone. I had to make the choice to now walk the talk.

© 2015 Five Foot Ronna

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