The Love You Withhold From Others Is The Pain You Keep For Yourself


“The love you withhold from others is the pain you keep for yourself.” Arthur was right, and I guess I never thought of it that way.

We had just finished an hour-long angelic reiki session and was talking about what energy he felt from me. He talked about how he could feel the energy ‘blocks’ in my body, and as he released them he could feel pops and various sensations as the flow increased. There was apparently some heavy energy from my shoulders - either I felt stressed or burdened. Maybe both, life has been pretty full on with work, dance and the upcoming poetry slam. And I am my biggest critic.

My heart chakra needed a lot of work too. No surprises there. He even placed a crystal there. I think hearing someone acknowledge it without having to go into detail, or feel the need to explain it was a relief. Sometimes we just hope that someone understands without taking us back into that space - to have someone listen without judgements.

To listen to understand, not just to respond.

The love you withhold from others is the pain you keep for yourself.

He said that instead of trying to change the world around us (and often being frustrated and stressed), go back within yourself and start there. Love yourself more. A seed grows from the inside out, not as a big tree and shrinks itself smaller. “Your job is to love yourself and the Universe will do the rest.”

Everyone has a different reiki experience, and mine was certainly interesting. When the session ended and I was alone for a couple of minutes, I sat down on a chair in the corner. Physically I was sitting there, but in my head I felt like I was watching myself sitting there. Like a fly on the wall - or maybe like a CCTV camera? I can only describe it feeling like out of body experience - I was my own voyeur.

On Sunday I also finished my last poem for the upcoming NZ Poetry Slam Finals. I’ve told a few people about it, and have read it to two people. It’s called “The Death Rattle of my Ovaries,” and out of the three poems, it’s been the hardest to write. I didn’t actually think I would get a third poem to bring to the finals, maybe because I have loved My Mother’s Daughter, and wasn’t sure if I had another like that in me. That honesty and conviction to have those hard conversations, OK albeit this is a monologue.

I will let you know on the next blog if I get to read that poem. Maybe, maybe not. Just to have the courage to write those words is good enough for me.

Arthur Dominick is the owner of Building Bliss NZ - which offers Quantum Healing Hypnosis and Angelic Reiki at Valor & Tonic on The Strand, Whakatane. You can find out more about him at or on Facebook @BuildingBlissNZ.
What is Reiki? It’s a healing technique based on the principle that the therapist can channel energy into the patient by means of touch, to activate the natural healing processes of the patient's body and restore physical and emotional well-being. Source:

Ronna Grace Funtelar

A thirtyish storyteller, hobby hiker, photography and sunrise enthusiast with a passion for mindfully helping others live beyond their comfort zone.