Happy New Year! My first blog for 2017...yes, this one is about nuts.

Waffle cones, whipped cream and nuts in the sunshine. According to my friend Lana, the nuts do it for her, and I tend to agree. We must have been quite the sight - she in her blue ‘Stepford’ wife dress (from her lunch with her Mum), and me in my black staple of jeans and singlet. Only in New Zealand is it totally normal to see someone wearing all black in summer.

We walked back towards the park where we knew there was shade under the trees, eating our ice creams quickly, hoping not to make a sticky mess.

Lana and I met at a mix and mingle a few months back. When I walked into the bar, I knew there weren’t any men there that interested me. I decided to make the most of the trip over (it was an hour’s drive), and began talking to two women there. In the end we found plenty in common and I made two friends that night.

It was her 36th birthday, and I made the trip over to see her. This was the first time we had seen each other since the mix and mingle, even though we kept in touch through texts. She has travelled extensively, owns a camper van, and recently moved back in with her mother last year. Like I said, we had plenty in common.

Physically, we are polar opposites. She is fair, blonde, blue eyed with great legs. I’m Asian, well-done on the toast scale and legs built for doing squats at the gym. Friends don’t let friends skip leg day. Sometimes I feel the donkey is a kindred spirit animal - strong legs and a big ass. Lana may seem reserved, but she has a quick wit and a dry sense of humour.

We made sure to sit away from the playground in the park. Families with young children were making the most of the sunshine, perhaps trying to use up the last of the beach-day enthusiasm before heading home for dinner. We sat under a nearby tree and found the shade a nice escape from the searing heat.

Professionally, Lana has worked in various industries. She had been in the Air Force, marketing, a teacher and now, well she builds bus panels. Or at least that’s what I think she does. An ideal day out for her would be a trip to Bunnings, as she’s helping her Mum to renovate her kitchen. If a guy bought her tools for Valentine’s Day instead of flowers, she would be in heaven. I like that she’s happy in her own skin and unapologetically out of the norm.

I told her my story from the beginning - I guess it can be overwhelming for someone who is coming in a few chapters along. So much emotion has already been chewed up and spat out. I don’t often go back there anymore, that woman only exists in name. I don’t want new people in my life to define me by that story - pretty soon I’m sure it will be just be a passing memory.

“Do you regret the last ten years?” She asked. No, how could I? So many amazing people came into my life because of that relationship. I wouldn’t want to let go of those memories just because it ended. On the flip side, it purged people I wanted to get rid of a long time ago - so that’s a bonus.

As the sun began to set we decided to escape the chill and grab a drink. Which meant putting our shoes back on. And putting on some make up. Could more ice cream be part of this scenario? I was hopeful.

I got home about midnight - my face hurting from laughing too much. It’s good to laugh and make time for friends. I spent so much time alone last year that this year is my year for connections. Genuine connections.

Here’s to a new story, a more loving heart and living my truth...unapologetically.